Arms Wide Open

I have said it before, but I continue to be intrigued by what happens when we accept Gods call to live in community with one another. When we honestly share in one anothers burdens, we expose ourselves to what, in my opinion, becomes the hardest part of our faith. The “questions that have no answers” become living examples and challenge the very core of our finite understanding of an infinite God. When all of this happens, faith gets “messy”.

Faith doesn’t just get “messy” in community, it can get messy when we look in the mirror. I believe when we open ourselves to “whatever God has planned for us”, it can be the ultimate “be careful what you wish for”. We want the drive thru version of understanding and knowing Gods plan for our lives. It would be so much easier if we could just pull up, receive our instructions (good or bad) and drive away with a purpose. That’s not often how it works. We are asked to wait. We are forced to use our own understanding of what would happen if (insert calling here). Our plans and calculations get in the way and faith gets “messy”.

This morning as I pondered both the examples of so many I know where faith has gotten “messy” and even in my own life, I was reminded of a very important point. God never promised our faith wouldn’t get messy. Hard as I searched the concordance, I couldn’t find a single scriptural reference for that. He never promised smooth sailing. He never promised drive thru discernment. He asked for obedience. He asked that we trust that God is so much bigger than our understanding. He asked that we trust even more when faith gets “messy”.

“Somewhere in the Middle” by Casting Crowns

[audio http://leftfield8.com/audio/ccsomewhere.mp3]

I sit here this evening with no words. All day I have pondered, prayed and tried to wrap my finite mind around the ways and wonders of an infinite God. My friends, I don’t have the words. I wish I could be a source of encouragement to you today, particularly those of us that are working through the emotions, thoughts and feelings for our dear friend and his family. What I have come to is this…God is still on his throne.

One of my favorite moments of the day and this life is when my children climb up in my lap. To rest my chin upon the top of their head and just feel them near is to know peace. In those moments of silence, the last thing we need are words. The closeness of the moment covers them all. Our Heavenly Father longs for these moments too. He longs to have us climb up in his lap and seek his grace, his wisdom, his peace and his strength. A time where we can be still. Even when there are no words…

“Be Still” by Story Side B

[audio http://leftfield8.com/audio/ssbbe.mp3]

I swear this song is haunting me. Then again, it might not be the song, it might be the waiting that is actually haunting me. The song is just incredibly appropriate. I first heard it well over a year and a half ago and have somewhat forgotten about it until recently. The song is “While I’m Waiting” by one of my personal favorites, John Waller. It was also featured in the film “Fireproof” at a very appropriate part of the movie.

All of that to say that I almost titled this post “Charlotte Update”. As to not set the world and grapevine into motion, I decided to go with a different title. Our home is not for sale and as of this moment, we have no plans to even visit North Carolina anytime soon. God really shook up our basket a few months ago and yet Heather and I continue to wait. We both know that God was and is up to something in our lives. It was so crystal clear at the time of the call. It was almost audible. In the same breathe I would say that we are confident that not moving was the right thing to do. So we wait.

I know so many people that are also “waiting”. Jobs, homes for sale, ministries, relationships, futures, health, wealth, debt, fears and expectations. My prayer list is full of people that are “waiting”. If you know me at all, you know that my weakness is…well…waiting. I am blessed with no attention span and no patience. So the Lord making me wait is a prime example of refining in my life. He went right to the place that I am the weakest and we are pretty well camped out there. So we wait.

I think the point of this entire post is that while we are all “waiting” there is work to do. For so long I sat on the sidelines and “waited” for God to make that move. I waited for the sign, the time, the crystal clear moment. That may or may not come but we can, as John Waller says, worship, serve and run the race while we’re waiting. If you’re like me and “waiting” on God to bring clairty to something in your life, take a few minutes and listen to this song by John Waller. If nothing else, know that we are waiting together.

About 3 weeks ago, I started running again. That is an entirely different post for a different day. One of my favorite “treadmill songs” is “Presence” by Newsboys. There is just something about that song that makes me feel like I am requesting Gods presence even in the midst of gasping for air and sweating like crazy.

Over the past week or so, my youngest daughter (3 years old) has started to do something during my treadmill time that is really special to me. While I am running, she comes with toys, a game, or something to occupy her time and just sits beside the treadmill. I noted this morning how wonderful it is that she is just there, in my presence. Maybe she just wants that too.

What moved me this morning is that I think that is all that God asks of each of us. He just wants to be in our presence. Like my daughter in the morning, we don’t need to be engaged in serious conversation, I just like to see her there. Watching her play makes me happy. Seeing her be who she is in my presence brings joy to my life. If we talk during that time it is great, but there is something about her just being there that is wonderful.

I was reminded this morning that our Heavenly Father just wants us to be in his presence as well. Whatever we are doing, he wants us to invite him in so he can be near and enjoy our activity as well. He wants our activities to bring him glory and his presence to encourage us. Even if its nothing more than time on a treadmill.

“Presence” by Newsboys

[audio http://leftfield8.com/audio/nbpresence.mp3]

Somewhere along the road of this “journey to nowhere” (Charlotte), my good friend and mentor Denny said something I have not forgotten. When we were discussing what all of this could be about, he said;

“Aaron you have to be willing to lay down your Isaac. Maybe God is asking you to give Him your Isaac. You need to determine what that is and be willing to give it to Him.”

What Denny was referring to was Genesis 22:1-15 where Abraham showed God he was obedient by laying his son on an altar. At the last moment, God provided a ram as the sacrifice and Isaac’s life was spared. I’ve often wondered if there weren’t some father-son issues after that moment. I wonder if Isaac didn’t say “dude..what was THAT all about”? But Abraham knew. Abraham was following what he believed and being obedient. In the end, God provided another way.

Over the past several months, I’ve been in search of my Isaac. Leaving Columbus was going to be hard. This is our community. This is our home. These are our friends, mentors, brothers, sisters. This is where “iron sharpens iron” and people have poured into our lives. Yet God wanted to know if we were willing to give it up. Were we willing to go as far as Charlotte to commit ourselves to his call? At the last moment, He provided a ram (not ramses the UNC mascot either!).

So my question is this…”what is your Isaac”? Are you willing to give up the thing that you treasure most in obedience to God? Are you willing to get to that final moment when it looks completely out of your control to prove just that? To prove that we are not the one in control? Give it up. Give up your Isaac today and God will prove faithful. He always does.

What’s Your Isaac?

Rather than fumble over words I can’t begin to explain, I’ll let someone much more qualified explain why we are not going to Charlotte. I have a peace this morning (even in the midst of the pending craziness) that I have not had in a long, long time. Amen?