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Rules For My Son

A few favorites from the book Rules for My Unborn Son.

1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.

2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain’t one.

3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.

4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.

5. Act like you’ve been there before. Especially in the end zone.

6. Request the late check-out.

7. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

8. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.

9. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.

10. Don’t fill up on bread.

11. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look him in the eye.

12. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.

13. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.

14. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.

15. You marry the girl, you marry her whole family.

16. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.

17. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.

18. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.

19. Never turn down a breath mint.

20. In a game of HORSE, sometimes a simple free throw will get ’em.

21. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.

22. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.

23. Thank a veteran. And then make it up to him.

24. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

25. Eat lunch with the new kid.

26. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.

27. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.

28. See it on the big screen.

29. Give credit. Take the blame.

30. Write down your dreams.

*Update – It’s crazy to me but this post has somehow gone viral. For clarification, this was a list I consolidated from my favorite sayings at this (Source).

For more rules like these, check out the book Rules for My Unborn Son and Rules for My Newborn Daughter by Walker Lamond.

**Originally Posted 5 years ago

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Comments · 45

  • bryankhill · August 23, 2017

    Love it!!

    • Troy · August 25, 2017

      I Love It And Will Recommend To My Son.

  • Debbie Noble · August 23, 2017

    Nice & great to the point.
    But I must have missed the two things that we taught our 3-boys. Under no circumstances should you lie.
    Always & I mean always, Thank the Good Lord for all of those around you. Bow your head for prayer do not search for those whom are in-considerate & do not Bow there head.

    • Dan · August 24, 2017

      About the bow your head for prayer, we were taught to seek God and look at him with your head, heart, spirit, and yes looking Him in the eyes so He sees you are not hiding your face from Him. I understand your point. Just don’t think that everyone worships the same way.

    • Ryan Dune · August 24, 2017

      How about:
      Be a critical thinker, challenge well established and past assumptions, rules, and mythology. Especially crazy stories that defy all logic, reason, and science (like imaginary men in the sky).

      • Jim · August 24, 2017

        You just couldn’t help yourself could you? I’m not a religious person by any means, but you atheists are getting as bad as you claim religious people to be.

      • Bill Dix · August 24, 2017

        Most needed in our society today.

      • Chris · August 24, 2017

        #31 Don’t be a dick

      • GMB · August 25, 2017

        Praying for you…

    • Evey Everson · August 24, 2017

      Putting someone else’s candle out doesn’t make your shine brighter ?

    • Tom · August 25, 2017

      Not bowing your head does not make a person inconsiderate. Expecting everyone to believe the same things you do does.

  • Paul Long (@Pogue57) · August 23, 2017

    How about: Respect all women. Treat them equally. Don’t call them girls.

    • Wendy · August 24, 2017

      And stand when you shake any person’s hand, not just men.

    • Randy Jessup · August 25, 2017

      Respect every person the same treat the janitor with the same respect as the CEO he will appreciate it more. As a nurse, I learned to treat the unit secretary with the same respect as the unit manager the unit secretary does more for you and the unit manager.

  • Rock · August 24, 2017

    This former Sergeant of Infantry Marines ……. APPROVES

    • aaron · August 24, 2017

      Thank you for your comment and more importantly, thank you for your service! My family and I are grateful.

      • Brenda · August 25, 2017

        The list is perfect, Don’t change a thing. You have a very lucky son.

    • Roland Teigen · August 24, 2017

      If a Sergeant of Marines approves, you are approved. Doesn’t get any better than this.

  • A Bob Well Done · August 24, 2017

    Love this!

  • A Bob Well Done · August 24, 2017

    Reblogged this on Stew Rd. and commented:
    Enjoyed this!

  • Juan Andres Rios · August 24, 2017

    Reminds me of things my Dad (RIP) told me or demonstrated through actions. Never forget, your children (especially boys) will watch their Dad’s every move and listen to his every word.

  • Fonda truelove · August 24, 2017

    Make sure they know you love them. If called for let. Them know you dont approve of a action but still love them. Always Gorls too

  • Joe · August 24, 2017

    Always say hello everybody when you enter a room.

    • Dee Dee brunson · August 25, 2017

      My beloved and very much missed bro-in-law used to say “Goodbye, everyone!” as he left certain eating establishments just to embarrass my daughters. Lol

  • Larry O'Neal · August 24, 2017

    Never lie, don’t ever trust a liar and never vote for a liar!

  • Lanora · August 24, 2017

    My father said always keep your word.
    Never make excuses, just take care of it.
    This was awesome thanks for posting it so many young men today do not have a acting father so they don’t always know these things.

  • Ian Fardy · August 24, 2017

    Spectacular…………Thank you.

  • Joseph Kavanagh · August 24, 2017

    This Navy Hospital Corpsman also agrees, can’t let a Marine get the only word.

  • Mark Kreps · August 24, 2017

    From my Dad who died when I was 10, 52 years ago. “Tuck your shirt in before you leave the house.”

  • A Plant · August 24, 2017

    This is fantastic! I would add 3 more things:
    1. Be a gentleman and give/get a lady a chair, open a door etc.
    2. When being thanked for something respond with “You’re welcome” instead of “No problem”
    3. Respect your girlfriend’s parents by staying out of her bedroom.

  • Catherine Harrell · August 24, 2017

    I love all of these. May I add my husband’s favorites.
    Never make your date, girlfriend, wife get her own drink or open her beer.
    If the weather is bad, drop her off at the door then park the car, and pick her up there.
    Never be afraid to slow dance with a woman or a girl.

  • Seppi Thoma · August 24, 2017

    What a great list. I’d like to add one too, if you don’t mind. – when doing a task or job, give it at least 100%, or don’t even begin.

  • Dave Tibbe Sr. · August 24, 2017

    Call Mom at least once a week for no reason. Forever.

  • Chuck · August 24, 2017

    Listen twice as much as you speak. There is a reason you have 2 ears and only one moith.

  • Roger Scott · August 24, 2017

    There is a reason why you were born. Find out what it is and enjoy.

  • momkirby · August 24, 2017

    Reblogged this on momkirby and commented:
    For my boys….from Grandpa Kirby…..sounds like something he would tell you.

  • Jane Marie · August 24, 2017

    My favorite:
    To truly consider yourself a successful man…is to acknowledge how you treat your wife/gf/mother when no one else is looking.

  • devongreenfield1 · August 25, 2017

    Thank a vet. Then make it up to him OR her.

  • Mike B · August 25, 2017

    Most of these were taken, either in paraphrase or verbatim, from other sources (e.g. http://rulesformyunbornson.tumblr.com/post/120160058/373-carry-two-handkerchiefs). I guess rule 29 doesn’t apply to the author.

    • aaron · August 25, 2017

      Apparently you missed the part of this post (and the one I posted 5 years ago) where it says “SOURCE” right after #30 with a hyperlink to the very site that you are referring to. At no point in this post did it say this was my content.

  • Gary Prince · August 25, 2017

    Don’t pray. It makes you look weak beseeching an imaginary character for help with things you can’t handle or ungrateful by thanking him for things that he had nothing to do with.

    • Dennis A. Fabian · August 25, 2017

      “Don’t criticize people for their religious beliefs. It makes you look as childish & insecure as the guy from high school that still flicks your ear at the reunion.”

  • Dave OrangeJr · August 25, 2017

    Do on to others as you would have them do to you.

  • Pingback: Rules For My Son – MTFU

  • John Johnston · August 25, 2017

    Trump missed a lot of these pointers. Just saying!

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