Under the Chuppah

hogansattorney.jpgGoing through the news feeds this morning, I found a headline that is pretty sad. As soon as I read it, the words from Rob Bell’s book “Sex God” came to mind; “too many people under the chuppah”. The headline I read was that Hulk Hogan’s wife is reportedly seeking a divorce. If you watched the reality show “Hogan Knows Best” on VH1, you might remember that they were seeking counseling at one point. They were able to reconcile so the lights and cameras kept rolling. I am sorry to read these words and do hope that they are able to work it out.

I won’t do the chapter called “Under the Chuppah” and justice here, but Rob Bell (as always) does an amazing teaching on the Jewish wedding ceremony and the importance that the chuppah played. He begins the chapter by referring to watching the reality show which featured the then married couple of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lacey. He said that when he read the headline that they had split, he couldn’t help but think that “there were too many people under the chuppah”. In other words, by letting the cameras see everything, they allowed everyone into something that is sacred and special. Maybe that is what happened to the Hogans too?

To quote Rob Bell –

“Perhaps the kind-of-famous singer couple who became famous for being married never considered just what they were doing with those cameras. It probably sounded like an interesting idea that would make them lots of money. But many people ended up under the chuppah with them, and they paid for it”

“Because when you give something away, you no longer have it. When a couple shares what belongs to the two of them, they pay a price. The power and the mystery and , therefore, the strength of the bond come from the exclusivity. When a couple lets people too far in, when we have experienced what is theirs in some mystical way, they don’t have it anymore. They gave it away.”

“If you do this enough times over a long enough period of time, you’ll end up with nothing that’s yours and yours alone.”

Here’s hoping that the Hogan family will kindly ask us all to leave the chuppah (VH1 included). Let’s hope that they are able to discover what is theirs again and guard it closely. I seriously hope they are able to discover what is under their chuppah.

3 thoughts on “Under the Chuppah

  1. I know just what you mean. I just saw someone’s blog in which she describes in great detail her husband’s unfaithfulness and the destruction of their marriage. It was painful to read.

  2. I guess the key is balance – one the one hand, marriage (as holds true for most of life) thrives in community where individuals and couples ought to have a certain amount of accountability. On the other hand, some things ought to remain private.

    In any case, it’s a pretty safe bet that if a couple finds themselves exposing intimate details about their lives together for a cable network, their not really looking for accountability or privacy. It seems as though the Hogans were taken advantage of on some level.

    I don’t know them, but wish them well, nevertheless.

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