I mentioned in a previous post that there were two things that really stood out to me about the gathering last weekend with Dennis Jernigan. The first was God “singing over us” like a father sings over his children. The second was something he said about our desire for knowledge. I have to be really honest and say that I have been stuck on this internal struggle for some time now. In an age of being able to get information quickly, I think I have become so used to finding the answers when I need them. Yet that is not how it works with our faith. Maybe that is why it’s called “faith”.
As we enter the anniversary of September 11th, the question is sure to cross a few minds, “how could a loving God allow this to happen?”. It seems each day we read a report of cancer, disaster, poverty, brokenness, divorce and the list goes on and on. I would be lying if I didn’t say that at times I feel like I am supposed to know or understand why all of this happens. To quote the movie A Few Good Men…..”I WANT THE TRUTH“!!
Or do I?
Thanks to many factors, I believe I have finally arrived at a place where I can say that I don’t know that I want the truth. As the old saying goes “be careful what you wish for”.We all know that Job had been through the unthinkable. In verses 26-32, he begins to ask the questions that many of us would ask in his same situation. I am reminded of God’s lengthy response in Job 38:1 – 41:34. In short, he says “You want the truth…you can’t handle the truth!“. Specifically he says “Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?”. It is in this that I am reminded that we are finite minds trying to understand an infinite God. Even if we knew and understood why these things happen, could we handle, fathom or completely understand it? I really believe we cannot.
At the end of the day, I am reminded that if God gave me nothing more than his grace, that is more than enough. While my finite mind wants answers and reasons, God’s grace far exceeds knowledge. I rest in knowing that one day we will have a clear understanding and see all of these events and happenings through the eyes of the one that created the universe. Until then, I will find my truth in the cross and the grace that is sufficient.