I hate that I’m writing this post. I can’t help it though. It’s been bothering me and I hope it bothers you too. I mean that in a good way…
Last night I had someone send me a link to a blog post he had written. What I read was a very honest and real story about a guy that was once a youth pastor. After 2 bad church experiences, he’s out of the ministry and, by his own admission, off the wagon. He said:
“I dig God and I’m pretty sure he digs me”
I’ll be honest and say I love his honesty. If he lived anywhere near me, I’d love to sit down and talk about it over the drink of his choice. I think we’d have great discussion. We can probably learn much from one another. Both good and bad. What hurt me were the comments to his blog post. Account after account of people saying that were raised in the church and left because of the other Christians. If it hurt me, imagine what it does to the heart of God.
Don’t get me wrong, I think there is accountability for each of us to understand that our personal relationship with Jesus Christ cannot and should not be deterred by others. I think we often use that as a crutch to justify not loving Jesus. It’s an easy “out” to explain why one doesn’t go to church.
I’m just being honest.
But and this is a HUGE but, it doesn’t excuse the fact that we often “shoot our wounded”. Church is a place where people feel safe with others. They share their story. They trust. The trust is betrayed and it hurts. The halls of the church become like the halls of a high school. That hurts. If you’re a believer and read account after account of people saying “God is cool, but his followers are idiots”, it should hurt.
I pray for my friend. I pray for those that commented. I don’t judge, it’s not for me to do so. I hurt for their hurt. I hurt for the church as a body.
And that is what hurts the most….
What hurts the most…
I’d have to say that I love you like a brother,
Aaron Conrad. You tell the best stories and
give the very best advice. And, I know now that
you’ve earned your medals the hard way. Life has
taught you valuable lessons and…you share them
with others. I count myself *IN* the group that
feels like leaving Christianity because of Christians.
I need my faith. I crave having a relationship with
my God. I love the memories of growing up in a faith
community. I cherish my Christian friends. And, I
shutter when I think of some of the things that my
Christian friends and ‘Christian enemies’ have said
and done to me.
I love my God. He’s right beside me. I’m having a hard time calling myself a Christian right now. I know the beloved story of Jesus Christ. I can’t say that I am appreciating those that claim to be Christians. And,
still, I’m not worried. My God is here, he’s right
beside me. Amen.
Wow Sandy. Thank you for your kind words and more importantly your openness and honesty. You are so correct that your God is with you. He is the one you can trust and the one that knows all there is to know about your. I apologize for those that may have hurt you in the past. Know that our brokenness is what binds us. As the saying so perfectly says…”hurt people, hurt people”. I believe hurt people are in the church and for that reason, we hurt people too. It’s not right. It hurts and that has to be far from what God planned. I’m glad you have a community around you that love you and support you. Thanks for sharing your story and being so honest!